Gay Dads for Equality

The fight for marriage equality from the viewpoint of gay parents

Monday, November 08, 2004

Election results: a personal point of view of a gay parent

As many of you know, my partner and I are blessed with twins, born with the help of a gestational surrogate almost four years ago. When our kids were born, Bush was just "elected" for the first term. While we were disappointed about the election results, I do not remember thinking that it directly affected us any more than the rest of the country. After all, Clinton is the president that signed DOMA, and Bush claimed to be compassionate and friendly to gays... Gay marriage also seemed a distant dream. Homosexuality was still a crime in many states. The good news, of course, is that we started moving in the right direction politically. The bad news is that as gay parents with kids, we are much more vulnerable to the pain and "collateral damage" associated with this fight. All I can think of right now is what would happen if our kids were old enough to read these billboard signs you mentioned, or understand the hateful speech on TV. Millions of kids already do.

The "political capital" Bush /Rove are trying to accumulate is at the cost of the physical and psychological well being of millions of kids in this country - children of gay parents, or kids that are gay and lesbians themselves. What kind of "leaders" are willing to pay this price? How come many of our straight friends (not all) are not moved enough by this to mobilize against this propaganda? Isn't it clear that the Republicans will actually try to pass the Federal amendment now? Even if they fail, keeping this issue at the top of the political agenda will ensure many more kids will be exposed to this hate campaign.

The days of keeping a low profile and waiting for time to do the job are over. If we cannot hide the controversy from our kids, at least they need to hear our side loudly and proudly. All Democrats and progressive minded people need to understand that failing to take up the fight for equality leaves us all vulnerable to Karl Rove's tactics. We need to go back to gay equality 101, argue and explain the most basic issues: the only choice we have is whether to lie about who we are; if we share the dream of family life, and do not want to deceive a spouse of the opposite sex, our kids and us deserve the legal protections of marriage.


  • At 2:32 PM, Blogger meenyc said…

    I do not think we should rely upon or expect our straight friends/allies to mobilize. I think as a first step we should simply ask them not to be silent when they encounter homophobia in their lives, something like "I have gay friends with children, and your comments are hurtful to them. Do you know any gay people to justify what you just said?"

    We all have our hot button issues, and some will be motivated enough to do something about it. Considering the number of gay people who voted for Bush, there is a lot of complacency out there!


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