Gay Dads for Equality

The fight for marriage equality from the viewpoint of gay parents

Thursday, November 18, 2004

RE: Some Democrats Believe the Party Should Get Religion

[a letter I sent to the New York Times]

Dear Editor,

In "Democrats Get Religion" (New York Times, David Kirkpatrick, Nov. 17), the author suggests a choice for Democrats between rephrasing or modifying their positions in order to "connect" with those who vote based on religious and other moral values. The assumption is that pro-life and anti-gay people may vote Democrat if we compromise with their positions and show them that many of us care about similar values.

My partner and I are gay parents of 4 year old twins. Democrats that believe in equality, love, tolerance (values that most progressive Christians share), should think about us before they rush to gain the sympathy of conservatives by selling out on marriage equality. I agree that we should engage in advocacy and coalition building among religious conservatives that share our views on the economy, environment and social welfare. This discourse may be rephrased to address the underlying values that unite us, but it also needs examine what these values mean.

We need to go back to equality 101: the only choice gays have is whether to lie about who we are; if we share the dream of family life, and do not want to deceive a spouse of the opposite sex, our kids and us deserve the legal protections of marriage. This is the RIGHT thing to do if you value family and oppose hate.

If we learned one lesson from this election it is that failing to take up the fight for equality leaves us all vulnerable to Karl Rove's tactics.


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