Gay Dads for Equality

The fight for marriage equality from the viewpoint of gay parents

Monday, July 10, 2006

NY Court: we won't let you marry, since your kids should not have existed

As you know, we are a NY family headed by two men, raising two children (5.5 years old twins). While NY law allows us to do second parent adoption so we are both their legal parents, we are deeply affected by the inability to marry. If for no other reason, our kids need the security and dignity shared by other families. Now, after the recent shameful court decision, they also badly need for NY State officials to send a message that we are not second class citizens.

We were horrified by the recent court ruling mostly due to the so-called rationales used by the majority justices. To claim that "the legislator could rationally believe that it is better, other things being equal, for children to grow up with both a mother and a father," is not just contrary to all credible research, but also completely besides the point.

Marriage laws should exist to provide recognition, support and security to real families, and not in order to encourage some misguided notion of an "ideal" family.

Speaking of slippery slopes... What stops the legislator from deciding that marriage should only be reserved to people of certain age groups, certain health status, economic means, and even ethnicity? Surely the same "rationales" could be formulated using these attributes. Couldn't the same justice say that "Other things being equal" it is better for children to grow up with parents that are not too old (or too young), not sick, disabled, poor or members of a minority that could cause them to be taunted in school?...

The simple point is that we all try hard to provide the best possible environment for our kids to grow in, and it is the role of society /government to help us, not to tell our kids that they should not have existed to begin with!

What do they think - by withholding the rights provided by marriage they will force us back into the closet? Do they think that if I married a woman by pretending to be straight that our marriage would have lasted? Would kids born into these "preferred" marriages that are based on lies be better off than our kids? Most reasonable people would not think so.

we had 15 seconds of fame on NBC's coverage of the demonstration against the NY court ruling... Check it out:
- clip
- entire story


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